


In Which Dan Returns to the Hundred-Acre Wood

by phantasticphun



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Winnie-the-Pooh - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bittersweet Ending, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Teenagers, Dan and Phil are the same age, Fantasy elements, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of alcohol, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22918276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantasticphun/pseuds/phantasticphun
Summary: Growing up comes with changes, Dan’s familiar with that. More responsibility. More difficult relationships. Less time running around with your favorite stuffed bear named Winnie the Pooh.When the first day of year thirteen is finally here, Dan’s life is flipped on its head. He meets Phil, the new boy from the North, and he’s immediately smitten. Dan hates that the world doesn’t like boys that like boys, but maybe a visit to the Hundred Acre Wood, Pooh thinks, will help Dan realize that it doesn’t matter what the world’s opinion is.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25
Collections: Phandom Reverse Bang 2019





	In Which Dan Returns to the Hundred-Acre Wood

Dan has always dreaded the first day of a new school year.

It’s his last school year, too. Well, not quite _last_ -last. Dan’s planning to go to university. But it is his last _required_ year of school. Year Thirteen. Thank God.

Ever since he was little, he’s hated having to leave his imagination behind and turn into someone he’s not for a little bit of social acceptance. He hated having to leave behind his toys when he was little. Now, though, he hates having to put down his video game controller and pretend to like to get deliriously drunk in the woods with his “friends” and make out with girls he’s never seen before and will never see again. He did that a few times over the summer, but now he’s forced to see people every day because it’s unavoidable. He’s unfortunately a push-over and even though he pretty much hates everyone, he’s more likely to say yes to things if he sees people face-to-face. He’s not excited for the next year at all. Honestly? It’s just going to be adolescent Hell. 

Also, the uniform is itchy.

Dan is walking to school, his backpack on his back and his feet dragging with every step. Maybe if he never gets there it won’t start at all.

He knows it still will, but he wishes that somehow it wouldn’t.

It’s disgustingly warm out, a reminder that in some places the students are all still celebrating summer. Not here in England, though. Dan’s school certainly doesn’t have air conditioning either, so he’s dreading the thought of sweat and curly hair. Dan hates his curly hair.

Honestly, he’s hating just about everything right now.

~~~

He shuffles into his maths class and sits down without making eye contact with anyone. No one needs to know that he’s in this space-- this hot, awful classroom full of hormonal, horrible teenage boys-- right now. He might be physically here, sure, but his mind is off someplace else. _Anyplace_ else.

A tall boy now looms behind him. Dan can feel his presence. He doesn’t want to turn around to see who it is. He’s playing some sick kind of roulette in his head, wondering what slur he’ll be called today.

Instead, the voice wavers a little. It’s deep and decidedly Northern. “May I sit here?” He asks.

Dan turns around to face the guy. His hand is gesturing to the desk right next to Dan. He’s got a long black fringe, the haircut Dan really wants but thinks he could never pull off. His eyes are distractingly blue. He thinks he could get lost in them for a little while. 

Dan doesn’t like the way his heart skips a beat in his chest.

He curses himself for nodding like an idiot and stumbling over the word, “Y-yeah.”

The kid nods and slips in his seat. After placing down his backpack and getting a notebook out, he says, “My name’s Phil, what’s yours?”

Dan needs to pretend that he’s not meticulously watching Phil’s every move. “I’m Dan,” he responds. He’s sure he’s not being as cool as he wants to appear. 

Phil nods and smiles a crooked grin. “Nice to meet you.”

There’s a pause. Dan turns away from Phil and pretends to search through his backpack looking for something. He decides he will pull out a pencil and a notebook for the class. He has a week of his backpack being organized until it inevitably becomes a pit of crumpled papers and broken pencils and he better take advantage of that.

The teacher hasn’t walked in yet. He thinks it’s a woman. Why a woman would ever choose to teach at an all-boys school is beyond him, but he hopes she’s not horrible. His classmates are horrible, though, so maybe her horribleness would just be her version of a coping mechanism. 

Again, Dan really doesn’t understand why _anyone_ would do that to themself.

Boys are shouting behind him, all around him.

Dan remembers that there is a boy beside him, though. A boy he’s never seen before. Phil. That’s his name. 

Maybe not every boy is so horrible. 

Dan’s heart is doing things he didn’t think were possible. He tries to look harder for a pencil than he ever has before. He’s found one but is convinced it’s not good enough; that there’s a better pencil some place else. He’s trying to breath in even, steady inhales and exhales. He read somewhere that that was a good way to calm down.

Why does he need to calm down?

There is no better pencil. Dan grabs the one he found and the notebook and sits up. He places them on the desk and then looks over at Phil.

Phil’s got a pencil case sitting in front of him. 

Dan would bet that _he’s_ got better pencils. Phil probably has pencils a thousand times better than Dan's. 

Dan can’t stop staring at him. They’re close, too close, and Dan’s afraid he’ll look like a total freak. Dan’s afraid of himself and the way there seems to be a lump in his throat and Dan’s afraid of Phil and his soft voice that’s probably just a facade. He seems nice but rarely is anyone nice to each other in this school. He seems like he’d hang out with Dan’s “friends” but it’s not like any of his “friends” are very nice, either, and it’s not like he’s himself around them to begin with. 

Dan’s a mess. Dan can’t believe it’s only eight in the morning and the first day of Year Thirteen and he’s such a mess.

His eyes detach from Phil and dart around the room quickly. Max is sitting in the back talking to some other kid. Dan doesn’t like Max at all, but sometimes he attaches himself to people Dan at least _pretends_ to like. Max has seen Dan drunk. Dan has seen Max drunk. It’s like some kind of stupid British teenage acquaintanceship. 

Cory sits in a desk across the room. He and Dan make eye-contact. Cory kind of two-finger waves and Dan nods back. Cory is one of Dan’s “friends.” They’ll sit together at lunch, today.

It’s only been a few seconds, but they seem like they’ve lasted hours. Dan’s autopilot turns on and he’s back to ogling the boy beside him. Dan doesn’t want to ogle-- his staring at, _ogling_ of another boy could cause him some serious social trouble-- but he can’t help it.

Phil picks up his pencil case, unzips it slowly, and delicately takes a pencil, like he might break it if he holds it too hard. Dan’s sucks up a breath too quickly as Phil re-zips and places the case back down on the desk. He looks up to make eye contact with Dan. He cracks another smile and flutters his eyelashes.

Dan thinks he might fall to the floor and die right there. 

A middle-aged woman with bags under her eyes and frizzy hair waddles in, and for once, Dan is actually thankful that he’s sitting in a classroom. He can only hope that whatever the hell math shit she’s going to talk about will distract him enough from whatever the hell emotional shit is happening inside of him right now.

His gaze flicks over to Phil again. He can’t help it.

He can’t help it.

_He can’t help it._

~~~

Dan brought a sandwich with him to eat at lunch. He is nibbling it as he observes the boys around him in the lunchroom like he’s a scientist watching lab rats. 

He was right about his thoughts in maths earlier-- one of the boys at the table he’s sitting at is Cory. There’s also Ryan and Josh. Unfortunately, Max is also sitting at the table. Max’s presence is why Dan is observing instead of contributing at all. He can stand Cory, Ryan, and Josh-- sometimes he even momentarily likes them-- but under no circumstances does he like Max.

 _Phil_ though. He likes Phil.

He likes Phil and they’ve hardly said anything to each other at all.

That’s where his mind has fallen into all day. He’s also observing instead of speaking because he’s afraid that if he opens his mouth some big, gay confession will fall out.

There’s a dip in the conversation and then he and Max, unfortunately, make eye-contact. 

Dan likes making eye-contact with Phil. Dan does not like making eye-contact with Max.

“Whad’ya do over summer, Howell?” Max says, and then chomps down on an apple. He chews with his mouth open and speaks with the bite still in his mouth, “We didn’t see ya much, now did we? The girls we get ya not good enough? Where were ya, sucking off some bloke instead?”

 _That’s_ why Dan hates Max so much.

Dan hates Max’s open-mouthed chewing. He hates his messy, grating accent that he must’ve learned from, Dan doesn’t even know, some cartoon villain or something. He hates how he’s misogynistic and treats girls like they’re just his to have.

Most of all, though, Dan hates his constant homophobic comments. He hates how every moment with Max is just a reminder of how he’ll never be truly accepted in this world. He hates how Max makes him hate himself. 

“Aw, shut up, Max,” Cory says and elbows Dan. Dan recoils. “Dan’s not getting any action, girls _or_ boys.”

Well, Cory’s not _wrong._

“Well,” Josh says, “There’s that girl that hangs with us sometimes, I forget her name, she’s got the long dark hair--”

Ryan rolls his eyes. “There’s about a million girls with long dark hair.”

“But she’s different.” Josh nods. “She’s different ‘cause she flirts with Dan.”

Dan scrunches up his face. “Who are you even talking about?”

“Yeah!” Cory interjects. “I actually do know who you’re talking about. She was with us, like, last June? You met her at that party that Lottie was having.”

Dan shakes his head as his eyebrows move even closer together. “I really don’t even remember that.”

“She was all over you at that party! Real touchy.” Cory leans in and smirks. “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t get in her pants by the end of the night.”

Dan really wishes they would just shut up already. He doesn’t remember that girl at all.

“If you don’t remember her,” Ryan says, “Maybe it’s because you were drunk off your ass that night.”

“Or,” Max begins, “You guys are really making all that shit up. Bet she could _smell_ the homo coming off of him. Everyone else can, can’t they, Howell?”

An shaky exhale comes out of Dan without him letting it. He’s really trying to prevent himself from tearing up right now. If he cries, who knows what Max would have to say about that. His bottom lip quivers, he grabs his lunch box, and he stands up. “I’m going to go. See you around.” He turns to leave, as far away as he’s allowed to go.

“C’mon Dan, he was just joking!” 

“We’re just making fun, you didn’t have to get so snappy.”

“Yeah, shit, Howell, can’t you take a joke?!”

That’s the last thing he hears because he’s bolted away from the table and out of the lunch room.

~~~

Dan sits on a bench outside, sniffling. He’s gotten good at hiding his emotions but sucking up tears is a little harder.

Then, he hears a voice. It’s like an angel was sent down from a Heaven Dan doesn’t believe in, or something. An angel with blue eyes and a deep, northern voice.

“Hey, are you alright?” Phil asks.

Dan turns around and looks up at him. He can’t help the weak grin on his face from forming.

“Hi, Phil,” he says.

Phil moves around the bench and takes a seat. “Really, are you okay?”

Dan shrugs. His eyes have started to water and he wipes them with the back of his hand. “I’m as okay as I ever am.”

“Alright,” Phil says. “Well, you know I’m here to talk whenever. I know I just, uh, I just moved here. But you seem like a nice guy.”

Phil calling Dan a “nice guy” makes his heart hurt in the most wonderful way. Dan thinks Phil has no right being so pretty and so nice and everything Dan-since-this-morning wants to spend his life with forever.

Okay, so maybe Dan’s just a _little_ dramatic. But the boy’s got a crush.

Dan looks at Phil, into those blue eyes he likes so much, and says, “Thank you. Really. Most people around here really don’t care about each other at all.”

Phil chuckles. “Yeah, I think most teenage boys think caring makes them weak. I think, really, the lack of care just fucks ‘em up more.”

Unfortunately, just as Dan and Phil get into their conversation, the bell rings. Dan collects his things and Phil does the same. 

“Well, I hope I see you around,” Phil says as he gets up.

Dan is giddy as he responds, “Yeah, see you later.”

~~~

Dan ambles along with his backpack until he eventually gets back home. He’s away from that awful school for a night and can take his time walking to his house. 

Dan can’t believe that he’s managed to screw himself over so hard. Sure, the bullying should be expected from Max, and the so-called mean “joking” should be expected from Cory, Ryan, and Josh, but he was hoping he’d learned enough to stop his crushing. 

He likes boys. He really likes boys. Or, specifically at this moment, Dan really likes Phil and not every one of the loud, testosterone-filled boys at the school. Dan actually hates most of the boys. He just likes _some_ boys. 

He’s everything that Max calls him-- that so many people have called him since he was young. Dan is gay and he’s got a giant, gay crush on Phil.

Dan takes the key out of his backpack and unlocks the door. His mum and dad should still be at work and Adrian doesn’t get out of school for another hour. 

He steps in and locks the door behind him. He calls out, “Mum?” and breathes a sigh of relief when he doesn’t get a response. He kicks off his shoes and heads upstairs to his room. He really needs to be alone right now.

The brown and gold of his ugly bedroom walls doesn’t do much to calm his bubbling anxiety and heart-wrenching, but at least he knows he’s in his house and alone for a little bit. He swings off his backpack and lets it thump on the floor, and then he flops on his bed face-first.

After accepting that he’s going to be on the bed for a while, he turns to lie on his back. Dan loosens his uniform’s tie, takes it off from around his neck, and flings it off into his room somewhere. That’ll be a problem for tomorrow-Dan to deal with. 

He’s debating between crying, masturbating, and trying to sleep his feelings away. All are equally unuseful. Crying just makes him feel especially sad and pathetic, and when he realizes that he is crying, he can just hear echoes of how Max would taunt him. How _anyone_ would taunt him. Sleep just puts everything on the back-burner and, he supposes, it fits true to his master-procrastinator ways, but it’s not like it solves anything intellectually or emotionally in the end. And, well, masturbating doesn’t exactly help _anyone_ not think about a new crush… 

He moves himself to an actually normal position on the bed and flops his head back onto his pillow. He brushes his thankfully-still-straight fringe out of his eyes. He’s decided he’s going to lie here, empty. He’s going to stare at his ceiling and try not to think about anything at all. 

And then he hears a thump and a soft, “Ow.”

Dan bolts upright in his bed. That didn’t sound like Adrian or his father but it was certainly a male voice. He looks over at his alarm clock. It couldn’t have been Adrian, anyway, because he doesn’t get out of school yet, and it’d be awfully weird for his dad to come home so early. 

There’s another thump and the noise is definitely coming from his closet. “Oh, bother.” 

Dan’s eyes widen as he stares at the closet door. His heart thumps and his breath quickens.

“Daniel?” It says. “Daniel, I do need a little bit of help if you don’t mind.”

That voice sounds suspiciously like… no, it _couldn’t_ be. That was all in his imagination when he was little.

Still, there’s something in him that wants to open that closet door. 

He finds himself getting off of the bed, like some phantom is controlling him. He shuffles over to the closet door and turns the knob, then pulls it open and steps back, fearful of what might come out. 

A Bear of Very Little Brain steps over a pair of Dan’s shoes and comes out into the light. “Thank you for getting the door, for I am unfortunately much too short,” he almost mumbles. He then looks up. “Hello, Daniel,” says the little yellow bear with a grin. “It’s certainly been a while.”

Dan swallows back a scream as he runs back to his bed and hops onto it. “ _What the fuck?! Pooh?!_ ” He yells, instead.

Pooh’s eyebrows scrunch together. “Oh goodness, I’m sorry I frightened you.”

“You’re moving! You’re, like, _what the hell?!_ Please tell me what is going on!” Dan stands on his bed, surveying his situation, looking between Pooh and the closet and the door and everything in-between. 

“Oh, you’re very frightened,” Pooh says as he waddles towards the bed. “I am very sorry. I’m only trying to help you.”

Dan’s breath is coming in and out short and fast. “What kind of fucking horror movie shit is this?!”

“I see that you have expanded your vocabulary,” Pooh mumbles.

Dan doesn’t really care what the suddenly-animated stuffed bear has to say and as he tries to catch his breath, groans, “Am I dreaming or something?”

Pooh shakes his head. “Daniel, no, I am very much here.”

Dan falls onto the bed, kneeling. “Is this some prank or something? Is Adrian here?” He yells out towards the door, “ _ADRIAN!_ I swear to _fucking god_ if you’re doing this somehow--”

“It’s not Adrian,” Pooh says as he takes a couple steps forward, “It’s all you.”

His voice is soft when Dan questions, “Me?” His chest puffs out with a shaky breath and as he deflates, he finally sits down on the bed. 

Pooh shuffles forward and he can see just how uncomfortable the little movement makes Dan. He pauses and winces. “I don’t want you to be afraid.”

“How on Earth do you expect me _not to be afraid_ when you-- you’re, like, alive?”

Pooh plops down on the floor and then looks up at Dan on the bed. He suddenly looks awfully sad. “You remember me, don’t you?”

Dan nods. “Yeah, uh, Pooh, I remember you.” He still feels weird talking to a stuffed animal as a seventeen year-old, even if that stuffed animal can respond and he, himself, has calmed down just a little bit.

It’s almost like Pooh can read Dan’s mind because he responds, “Well, I suppose if you remember me, you remember all of the time we spent together. You always liked talking to me when you were little. Why is it any different now?”

“Because--” Dan doesn’t exactly know what to say. He’s afraid Pooh won’t understand. He’s just a stuffed bear with the mind of, maybe, a six-year-old. “I have to deal with _adult_ problems now. I can’t just run off into the Hundred-Acre Wood and play with you and Piglet and Tigger and everyone else. That’s what a crazy person would do.”

“Perhaps,” Pooh says, “You are a little crazy, Daniel.”

Dan huffs. “I am not.” 

With those few words he realizes he suddenly feels much smaller.

“You’re talking to me, are you not? And, well, you think only crazy people talk to someone like me.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you’re a freaking teddy bear. You’re not supposed to be talking or moving or… making me question all of my life choices! Maybe I _am_ a little fucking crazy because I _am_ actually talking to you. I’ve got no goddamn clue what’s going on… Too much. That’s what. Too much is going on and I’ll never be able to catch up.” He scrunches up and hugs his knees, face slotting between them. He mumbles, “Nothing is fucking worth it.”

Pooh sighs. After a pause, he says, “I think you should come with me.”

Dan’s head shoots up. “Where?”

Standing up, Pooh declares, “The Hundred-Acre Wood, of course!”

“That place doesn’t exist.”

Pooh shrugs. “Well, you thought that I couldn’t talk or walk or do anything else but sit and stare, but look how you’ve been proven wrong.” He extends a soft, golden paw and smiles.

Dan unravels himself and scootches to the edge of the bed. He leans over and apprehensively, he touches Pooh.

To his surprise, he’s not jolted awake and he’s not suddenly aware that this is all a dream, or something. Pooh feels the same as he always has. He feels soft. He feels like comfort. He feels like his childhood.

“Yeah, Pooh,” Dan whispers, staring into the shiny black eyes looking back at him, “Let’s go to the Hundred-Acre Wood.”

As Pooh grins, Dan lets go of his little paw and gets off of the bed. “Do I need to bring anything?” He asks.

Pooh shakes his head. “Just yourself. Perhaps your house key, if you want.”

A smile threatens to pull up the corner of his mouth. “Alright, alright. I better leave a note for Adrian, though.”

Dan heads out of his bedroom and down the stairs, and Pooh tries his best to follow behind. In his kitchen, he grabs a yellow sticky note and pen and writes, “ _I’ve gone out. Back soon. -Dan_ ” in his scribbly, messy handwriting. During this process, Pooh climbs onto a chair and then on the table. Dan pulls off the sticky note and slaps it on the table. He then snatches up Pooh, holds him in his right arm, and heads to the door.

“I’m sorry I’m so slow,” Pooh mumbles.

Dan jams his foot into a trainer without unlacing it as he says, “I’m sorry I’ve gotten so tall.”

“It’s not your fault. Little boys are supposed to grow tall.”

Dan shoves his other foot into its shoe. “You sure they’re supposed to be, like, a freaking giant like me?”

Pooh mumbles, “Well… perhaps you are a _little_ tall.” 

“Oh, I’m more than a little.” Dan swings open his front door, pulls out his key quick, and locks it behind him. Then, the two of them are off.

~~~

Pooh directs Dan to a nearby small wooded area that he used to play in. Dan certainly has memories that live here, but before today, he was sure that those of Pooh and everyone else were just distorted by childhood fantasy. 

“We’re almost there!” Pooh exclaims. “Can you put me down so I can better show you which tree is The Most Important One?”

“You’re going to get dirty if I put you down.”

Pooh shrugs. “I’ve never minded a little dirt before.”

Dan rolls his eyes and softly places Pooh down on the grass. He waddles over to a tree that doesn’t look particularly important and Dan follows behind.

“The Hundred-Acre Wood is right through here.” Pooh points to a large crack in the trunk of the tree.

Dan kneels down and looks incredulously at Pooh. “You’re kidding me.”

“It certainly is,” Pooh says with a single nod. “I’m surprised you’ve forgotten this, Daniel. You spent all that time with us when you were just a little bit younger.”

“Yes, Pooh, but the thing you still don’t seem to understand is that I’m not as young as I used to be. I’m not the same.”

“Well, perhaps physically you aren’t the same, but you’ve got the same brain, and A Very Good Brain at that.”

Under his breath, Dan groans, “Yeah, right.” He shakes his head and then focuses back on the tree. “Either way, you said it yourself. Physically, I’m not the same. I’m six-freaking-feet tall. Even if this is, like, the portal or whatever and I could get through when I was little, there’s no way I can get in there, now.”

Pooh looks Dan up and down. “I believe in you.”

Dan simply shakes his head.

“Here,” Pooh says, “Take my hand. We’ll go in together.”

Dan takes Pooh’s paw in his palm and gets on his hands and knees with an unconfident huff.

“Here we go!” Pooh grins and takes a step. He drags along Dan as he ducks his head and steps into the hollow tree’s darkness. 

If Pooh has to duck his head, Dan has zero confidence that he’ll be able to fit whatsoever. He inhales deeply and then sticks his head in.

For a moment, it’s dark. Then, all of a sudden, there’s a blustery sort of breeze and his ears pop. He feels like he’s being thrown around until he ends up wobbly and in the same position on a different forest’s floor. 

He doesn’t even realize that he had closed his eyes until he opens them. Pooh stands in front of him, grinning. “I told you you could do it.”

For the first time, Dan smiles back. “Shut up,” he teases, and slowly begins to stand. With each vertical increment he needs to steady himself, but soon he gets up. Looking down at Pooh, he says, “Well, we’ve gotten this far. Even if I’m having a fever dream or something, I might as well meet the others, yeah?”

“Oh, they’ll be so excited!’ Pooh exclaims and claps his paws together. “We must meet them. It’s a little bit of a walk, though.”

“That’s alright with me.” Dan takes a few speedy strides and then realizes that Pooh is no longer beside him. He stops, turns around, and sees Pooh frantically scampering behind him. 

As Dan waits, an already winded Pooh asks, “Would you mind very much carrying me?”

“Not at all. I’ve carried you many times before, haven’t I?” Dan leans down and scoops up Pooh in his arms. “You’re going to have to lead me to a meeting place, though. You know it’s been a little while.”

Pooh grins. “You’re right, only a Little While. And a Little While is enough to have to be reminded. It’s a good thing it hasn’t been quite a Long While, yet.”

“Why?” Dan asks as he walks along.

“Because, sometimes, when it’s been a Long While, you forget. And when you forget, you need much more than to be reminded.”

Dan sighs, his own dimples sinking due to the smile on his face. “Silly old bear.”

~~~

Little Roo holds a stick in his hand as he draws shapes in the dirt. Owl showed him this one time when Tigger was out galavanting around by himself somewhere and Kanga was doing chores, so he was left to practically his own devices. This is another one of those times except Owl, even, is nowhere to be seen. Roo is drawing pictures in the dirt as Kanga does the laundry. It’s not much laundry to do, Roo thinks. It’s just a few very small blue shirts and an apron.

Roo’s ears perk up as he hears a voice he hasn’t heard in a very, very long time. And then, there’s another different one.

“No way!” Roo exclaims and jumps up and down. He calls out, “Mama! Mama!”

Kanga turns her focus from the clothesline to her beloved joey, “What is it that’s gotten you so excited, dear?”

Roo bounds over. “I’ve just heard Pooh! And I think someone else is with him.”

“Pooh?” Kanga questions. “Roo, darling, Pooh hasn’t visited the Hundred-Acre Wood in a very long time. He’s been staying with Daniel. Are you sure you heard him?”

“Yes!” Roo’s energy comes out in another couple of bounces. “I heard him and someone else. I’m sure!”

“Alright then, shall we take a look?”

Roo nods his head. “Absolutely!”

“Come on, then,” Kanga says and opens her pouch. Roo hops in and the two of them skip around for a while. After looking between some trees and even by Roo’s favorite sandy pit, Kanga doesn’t know where else Roo could have heard Pooh and the other mysterious voice. 

“Why don’t we go somewhere more central in the Wood?” Roo asks. “Then, we might be able to find someone else to help us.”

“You’re very smart, dear,” Kanga responds, and they begin on their way.

~~~

When Kanga and Roo come across the meeting place where they normally join together, they are surprised to see everyone already there.

“Ah, Kanga, Roo! We are happy to see you here!” Owl exclaims, outstretching his wings.

Roo wriggles out of Kanga’s pouch and asks, “What’s everyone together for?” He bounces towards Tigger and Kanga is practically forced to follow her enthusiastic joey.

“We are having a meeting, of course,” Rabbit says.

“A meeting?” Kanga questions. “And why weren’t Roo and I invited?”

“Well, youse were invited,” Tigger says, “And I was about to go and getcha, but then Rabbit, here, Rabbit--”

“Tigger--” Rabbit begins, voice rising.

“Rabbit said to me, ‘Tigger,’-- that’s me-- ‘they’re too far away and this meeting is simply too pertinent!’”

Rabbit rolls his eyes and huffs. “I do not sound like that.”

“Mama?” Roo looks up at Kanga. “What’s ‘pertinent’ mean?”

Just as Kanga is about to respond, Tigger explains, “It means time-sensitive, Roo! Important right about now!” He bounds for emphasis.

“Well,” Kanga says, “What exactly is the meaning for the meeting? Because Roo and I have something to share that’s, well, pertinent, itself.”

“As I was flying around this afternoon,” says Owl, “I just happened to see two familiar faces. Well, one very familiar, and one, well… the same, but different as well.”

Roo bounces up and down. “Did you hear Pooh very recently, too?”

Rabbit, Piglet, Eeyore, and Tigger all gasp, “Pooh?”

“And Daniel, too!” Owl says with a nod.

Kanga claps her hands together and then looks down at Roo. “Oh, that must’ve been the other voice you heard.”

“I don’t believe this,” Eeyore says, his almost-forever-frown on his face. “We all wish that Pooh and Daniel were back, but…” He sighs. “They’re gone. Both gone forever.”

“Oh, certainly not, Eeyore,” Owl responds. “Daniel might have grown a little older, but it was absolutely him.”

Rabbit crosses his arms. “Why would we trust you, anyway? You’re wrong all of the time.”

Owl hops over. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Owl--”

Piglet practically curls into a ball and mumbles, “Please stop.”

Kanga decides to step in. “Boys! Boys! Please end your arguing! This is not going to help anything. I know things haven’t been the easiest recently but hopefully, _hopefully_ , Pooh is on his way.”

Owl and Rabbit sigh and say a quick “sorry” to each other. They don’t end up having much time to make amends, though, because Pooh and Dan enter from behind a group of trees.

Roo, Tigger, and Piglet all yell “Pooh!” and the others can hardly contain their excitement. Between Pooh and Dan, both of whom they haven’t seen in years, it’s hard to decide who, exactly, to focus on first.

Before Pooh and Dan can say or do anything, everyone crowds around the two of them and they push them into a group hug all together. Once everyone is done celebrating, they break apart and Dan stands in front of them all.

“Hey, everyone.” Dan waves awkwardly with two fingers. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Kanga hops over and touches Dan’s arm. She looks up with a glimmer in her eyes. “It’s really you, isn’t it? You’ve grown so much.”

“It’s really him.” Pooh nods. 

Tigger bounces over and then looks Dan up and down. “I don’t remember you quite so tall, Danny Boy. Either you got taller or we all got much shorter.”

Dan chuckles. “I got much, much taller. A few inches over six feet, now.”

“What brings you back to the Hundred-Acre Wood?” Piglet asks, looking up. Way up. Piglet feels especially small next to Dan and can’t jump as far up as Roo either, so he’s stuck looking up.

Dan shrugs. “Well, honestly, I don’t really know. Pooh brought me back after I hadn’t spoken to him in… a while.”

Rabbit crosses his arms. “Well, why did you leave us in the first place?”

“Well, Rabbit, funnily enough, it’s because I grew. I _aged_. Brings this whole conversation full-circle, now doesn’t it?”

“I don’t blame you for leaving for so long,” Eeyore says. “Life is set up so that it’s a series of coming and leaving, isn’t it? But mostly, it seems, you leave.”

“Oh, Eeyore,” Dan says and kneels on the ground. He scratches the donkey’s head. “I’m sorry I left so long. I really didn’t mean to.” Dan stands and addresses everyone. “You know, well, I guess you don’t, but… when you start to grow up, people expect you to act in different ways. When I was younger, people thought I was weird to visit you. I learned that I couldn’t talk about you in conversations. I couldn’t tell my classmates about the wonderful fact Owl told me or how many acorns--”

“Haycorns,” Piglet corrects.

Dan smiles. “Haycorns. Or how many haycorns Piglet found or whatever. They called me… mean names. They thought I was too soft. Too nice.”

“There’s no such thing as too nice!” Tigger exclaims. 

“Well,” Dan shakily inhales, “They thought I was. And it hurt me.” He sighs. “Deeply. So I thought the way to fix it… was to be, well… not myself.”

“Oh, Daniel,” Kanga sighs. “I’m sorry, dear. That’s awful.”

“And… I know Pooh tried. He tried to tell me not to listen. But I was just as mean to him as all those bullies at school were to me and I made him be quiet. I threw him in my closet and we didn’t speak for a while.”

He looks around at the group, tears in his eyes. He’s not even sure when the tears welled up. Everyone looks sad. Worse than that, they look disappointed. Dan takes a breath and is about to say something. He’s not sure what, exactly, until he makes eye-contact with Pooh.

“Today, though,” he says, “Something, well… something happened.”

“What?” Eeyore asks.

“Well, today was my first day of Year Thirteen. And I met… _a boy_.”

Roo quirks an eyebrow. “Haven’t you always met boys?”

Dan lets out a wet-sounding chuckle. “Yeah, but he’s… special.”

“Special?” Rabbit asks. “How?”

“He’s… well…” he sighs. “His name is Phil. He’s got the most gorgeous eyes I’ve ever seen and a deep, lovely voice, and his hair is dark and messy and I want to, like… ruffle it.” He’s beaming, now, unconsciously, even if his eyes are still a little red. “I’ve felt passing things, but like, he hit me like a truck. He makes me feel… like… swoopy and mushy and wonderful and, I know I’m being _really_ eloquent right now--”

“You like him,” Kanga chimes in. She’s smiling, an instinctively material sort of grin. 

Dan can’t bring himself to speak. He can’t bring himself to say it aloud. He falls to the ground and sits, tears pricking at his eyes again. Instead of saying words, he nods.

Piglet runs over and says, “Why are you so upset? Love is supposed to make someone happy.”

“Well,” Dan explains, “He does. He does make me happy. It’s just… context. It’s everyone else that doesn’t.”

Rabbit’s ears flop over as he cocks his head. “Context?”

“Yeah, context. You know how I was mentioning those bullies at school earlier?”

The group members nod or respond with a quick, “yes.”

Dan sighs. “They don’t like boys who… like boys.” It takes him a moment to even whisper the next part. “Like _me_.”

There’s a quiet pause until Tigger says, “Well, why do you care what those bullies think?”

“‘Cause I’m a mess,” Dan responds. “I’ve got low self-esteem.”

Eeyore sighs. “I can certainly relate to that,” he says, but no one really pays attention.

“I know it will be difficult, but you simply won’t be happy if you’re not yourself,” Piglet says.

Dan nods. “I know. Authenticity is hard.”

“Authenticity _is_ hard,” Owl repeats, “But being authentic allows you to act on your desires and passions.”

Dan recoils and scrunches up his nose. “Please don’t call Phil my desire… or passion. _Eesh_.”

“Fine,” Kanga says, still smiling. “But you’ve got a spark of love, Daniel, and love is the greatest thing of all. Love is the reason for living, isn’t it?”

Pooh adds, “Romantic or friendly, you need love. And the world can’t tell you who to love or not.” Pooh lays his head on Dan’s shoulder. “If you end up truly loving Phil, no one can tell you that such a lovely feeling is wrong.”

And now, Dan is crying for an entirely different reason.

~~~

It’s dusk when Dan and Pooh are trudging back through the heaviest part of the forest to find the portal back to Wokingham. Despite the sunset being beautiful and the trees being more grand than anything he sees at home, Dan’s done more walking today than he has all summer, so he’s awfully tired. 

Pooh debated on staying in the Wood, but ultimately decided to come back with Dan in case he needed any more help. Besides, Dan promised that he’d visit again soon and keep them updated on anything substantial that happens with Phil.

Phil. _Phil_. He’s actually, completely decided that he’s going to get closer to him. He’s going to get friendly with him and then ask him out. Dan smiles to himself of the thought of him and Phil being boyfriends.

They find the tree and travel back through, the same strange warping and blackness and flippiness as the first time. Wokingham isn’t as pretty as the Hundred-Acre Wood, and it’s a hell of a lot less kind, but it’s also sort of nice being in the familiarity of it. He thought the Hundred-Acre Wood lived in only his mind, so visiting it was sort of a dream experience.

Actually, it’s only half-there when he tries to remember it.

When he gets home, he knows at least Adrian will be there. His mum and dad will probably be, too, and they’ll certainly question why he’s carrying Pooh around. 

He takes out his key, unlocks the door, and sneaks upstairs to his room. He plops Pooh down on his dresser and takes a deep breath.

Dan suddenly realizes that Pooh has been awfully quiet since they’ve gotten back. Dan misses his little quips already, but he’s not sure Pooh ever said them at all. He’s not sure this whole afternoon happened, actually, but he hopes in his heart that it did.

And that’s all that matters, right? What’s in your heart?

For the millionth time today, Dan cries. He sits on his bed and cries. He cries because Kanga’s like the mother he’s never had. He cries because some days he feels a little bit too much like Eeyore. He cries because he’s sometimes a little, wobbly ball of anxiety like Piglet.

Dan cries because he realizes that all of their hope and joy and love has been inside him all along. It’s been inside him since he was little and he just needed to rediscover it. Although the world isn't perfect or shiny or nice, he knows that by being himself, he can contribute to its niceness. He had just pushed those things deep within him because that’s what he thought was best to survive. Survival isn’t truly life, though. Perhaps it was in some sort of weird, unconventional, daydreaming sort of way, but he found life again. Dan found himself again.

Dan has grown up, and not just physically. And, Dan has realized that, wherever he goes, whoever he’s with, whoever he loves, he can bring the Hundred-Acre Woods with him.

If he needs a reminder, he can just look at the stuffed bear that's sitting on his dresser.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are always appreciated. 
> 
> This was written for the Winter 2019/2020 Phandom Reverse Bang.
> 
> Thank you to @hiddenphangirl on tumblr for beta-ing and helping me through this fic's creative process! And you can find me on tumblr @phantasticphun.


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